VERY OFTEN

people get so angry that they see what you meant after year or two.

As often they dont even notice that little act they changed in themseves after you left a burnmark in their heart. It is a tiny chill or hickup of irrational and fades away quicly.

If you are a healer you hurt people. But most of all you hurt yourself. And then you have to heal yourself and everything starts allover again.

I JUST

wished that some day I would be so healed that someone could hug me and we both would not broke.

ODD PIECE

of hair keeps coming back to my throath everytime I open the door.

I swallow and swallow, cry a bit. Shut my eyes and ears.

Wishing the day go fast. Faster.

THEY

 did not give you any chanche,

did they.

Just laughed at you and enjoyed your pain.

DO NOT

betray me. Do not speak evil. Do not bring your poisonous life near me.

I will silent you with rage you have never seen.

It will be most silent and most devastating thing in your life.

And will change it permanently.

PEOPLE

say that I live in an imaginary world.

I say nothing and watch them crawl in a swamp of fears, rumours, false expectations,

hugely wrong interpretations provided by themselves in their lives

too small and minds too hollow.

And I laugh silently. And feel grateful to be me.

STUPID GIRL

I already did my greaving.

It did hurt.

Left an empty hole in the corner you used to be.

I have no need to surrond my self with small people.

Tiny thoughts never crossing one's world

where dragons and unicorns roam free.

MAYBE

I like to grow things because I see so much of myself in a tiny seed.

That odd urge to rise above everything.

Reach for the light.

Spread, finally unfold the beauty and harvest..

It is like learning to live.

Wanting to live.

I ROAMED

northwards.

Away from others.

I heard heathers sing my name.

Wind whispered in my ear and wrapped my hands.

As northern I got, more bursted my heart with joy and lightness.

I RATHER

feel more than less.

I rather feel often than seldom.

I rather feel anything even when I am

afraid what I might feel and when.

THE LIFE

left me I sensed a tiny amount of bitterness. Like hair stuck in throat.

Making me gag.

WE

hugged and you said we will survive everything.

That was not true.

We did not survive you.

IF I ASK

you to come. Come with strenght and bride. Come unexpectedly.

Come with a white horse.

A PRAYER

I call for you god and goddess. I have been away too long. I did not abandon my kind nor my power. I let others put me down, humiliate me. And longer it got, weaker I came. 

I want to find myself again. Gain what is mine. What belongs to me. 

I am lost. With worst kind of people ever. I call you let me stay with you, let me rest.